Being Single in a World Dominated by the Question “Why are you Single?”

If you are in your late 20s or beyond, the question “why are you single?” probably haunts you every week. Whether it’s a random stranger, your colleagues, or even your mom- people have no chill when it comes to asking something so personal and honestly, borderline intrusive. It can be draining to answer the same thing repeatedly and sometimes it can even make us question ourselves, but being single is not wrong and there is absolutely nothing you have to justify to anyone for being by yourself.

It is 2021. There are many kinds of relationships out there and sometimes, none of them fit our definition of relationships or feels right for us- and that is okay. Whether you’re on dating apps or going out on blind dates with strangers or just staying home with your pet- being single can either be a liberating experience or a draining one- depending on how the people around you take it.

If you’re ready to take the reigns in your hands and finally decide to not feel bad about being single, here are some brutally honest (and sometimes even snarky funny) replies to when someone says, “why are you single?”.

  1. I am single because I was lied to or cheated on- This one is not easy but it will put the question to rest for the person who decided to go there in the first place. But being honest about it can make the person understand how personal and hurting it is and they will probably stop asking you intrusive questions.
  1. I am single because I haven’t found someone worthy of my affection and time- This one is tricky and even though some people find it arrogant, being true to yourself about not finding the right person is not only liberating it can also let people know you are confident in what you have to offer and are not going to settle for less.
  1. I am single because I want to prioritise my goals and health- We all sometimes need to take some time to ourselves and prioritise our goals and wellbeing. When you say this to someone at any age, you come off as confident and a whole person who does not need someone else to feel complete. It also shows that even though true love is supposed to be “effortless” you realise important things are hard and relationships are a valuable investment to you.
  1. I am single because I have not found someone that exceeded, or even met, my standards- Sometimes we just have not met the one who sweeps us off our feet to be worthy of commitment. With relationships becoming more casual, it can feel difficult to find someone who treats you like you want to be treated. No shame in having standards.
  1. I am single because I want to see multiple people and not commit right now- If you want to explore your options and enjoy the company of multiple people, being upfront and honest about it is nothing wrong. It takes power to be honest about your intentions and not hurt people and that is cool.
  1. I am not single. I am in a relationship with myself and we’re awesome- This one doesn’t even need an explanation. You’re self sufficient and happy. Period.
  1. I’m single because I am figuring out my sexuality- Exploring yourself and your sexuality is primal to mental and physical wellbeing. If you are seeing different people of different genders to understand your sexuality, being honest about it is probably going to shut down the awkward questions.
  1. I am single because I got out of an abusive relationship- Not being ready to get out there again is normal. No one can understand what you went through and healing is a journey. This honest and vulnerable response will not only stop people from asking you this intrusive question, but it might also help you seek the support you need.

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