How to communicate your dating intentions in 2021

If you are getting back into dating after being single for a long time or after coming out of a long - term relationship, things can be hard. It is normal to feel that you have forgotten how to date and sometimes, even who you are. Getting lost and feeling stuck when it comes to meeting new people can be difficult and lonely - especially if you’re venturing into the dating pool again.

In today’s time, it has become more important than ever to communicate your intentions. No one wants someone that is not transparent and honest, because honestly, we’re much more open and would appreciate it if someone tells us what they want from the get - go.

Here is how you can communicate your dating intentions clearly in 2021:

  1. Think and reflect on what you want - The first step to dating again is to understand what you want. You cannot explain things to people if you do not understand them yourself. Sit back and think about what you want right now. Are you looking for meaningful friendships? Are you looking for companionship? Are you looking for sex? Or are you looking for something more? Explore yourself and understand where you are in life right now. This would help you gain clarity on what you need when it comes to relationships right now. Understand your idea of a relationship at present. People change. Your idea of a relationship can evolve and there is no one right way to date. Introspect and try to figure out what dating means to you right now. Once you know what you want, it becomes easier to tell other people what you want. And trust us, no one takes it personally if you’re honest from the beginning. (Don’t say I didn’t tell ya!)

  2. Is it casual or are you trying to spend your life with someone? - When you start exploring the dating world, it is extremely important to be as clear as possible about where you see yourself with someone. If you’re seeing someone casually, be clear about it. If you are exploring your sexual identity, be clear about it. If you are casually hooking up and dating to have fun, be clear about it. Dating in 2021 really is about being clear about what you want. Transparency and honesty can save everyone’s time. If you are talking to other people, let your partner know. If you like them more than you thought you would, let your partner know. If they have communicated that they want something casual and you begin to feel more deeply, communicate that too!

  3. Are you going to be seeing other people? - This can become a deal - breaker in many modern - day relationships. Clarity about other people being involved can save a lot of heartache and trust issues. Be clear about the fact that you are talking to and seeing other people. Your partners have a right to know what they are getting into, especially if you are sexually involved with multiple people. Many people are not comfortable with their partner seeing other people, and communicating your intentions from the beginning can help you establish the right foundation with the people who are right for you.

  4. Communicating this effectively - Eventually, all of this comes down to be able to openly and confidently talk about your needs. Confidence in your ideas and thoughts comes when there is clarity. If you are sure about what you want, there is no reason to not tell the other person. If you are confused, unsure and unclear on what you need right now, it is best to not lead people on as you “think about what you want”. This can often lead to resentment and a lot of unnecessary distress. If you feel that your intentions change while you date and your feelings evolve, it becomes even more important to communicate that.

Trust, transparency and honesty form the foundation of all relationships - platonic or romantic. Cultivate values of integrity and honesty, because no one is going to judge you for your dating choices - but they will be disappointed if they are led on and kept in the dark about things. Being on the same page about things is at the core of healthy relationships of all kinds.  

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