Infidelity and is there going back from cheating?

With technology and texting and other forms of communication becoming a big part of our lives today, it has become increasingly difficult to define what counts as infidelity and what does not. Cheating is a scary term and it is an even worse experience. Being cheated on can cause self-esteem issues, trust issues, and sometimes, even ends long term marriages and relationships.

But what is cheating? Is it true that once a cheater always a cheater? Do relationships recover from infidelity? Why do people even cheat? The answers to these questions will always remain subjective. It depends on who you ask. We’re here to tell you everything you need to know to weigh your opinions and decide for yourself.

What is Cheating?

Simply put, cheating is the act of being unfaithful to a partner you are committed to. Unfaithfulness can come in the form of lying, hiding things, and going behind their back. Most of the times, your partner might consider you keeping away a part of your paycheck as cheating. Because it does check things off the list we discussed above. But cheating, at its core, is defined by having another person in your life at (almost) the same position as your partner. It is the act of being involved with another person and keeping it from your partner.

What are the statistics?

Studies show that one in five men cheat and one in ten women cheat. It is said that about 20% of men have admitted to cheating in relationships and about 13% of women have. Studies also reveal that 45% of people who cheated in their previous relationships are also likely to cheat in their next relationships. But more people are likely to not cheat again.

Once a cheater always a cheater?

Experts and science disagree. Cheating is often looked at as a pattern of behaviour. It is important to look at cheating in married and unmarried relationships separately. Although someone who has cheated in the past might cheat again, they also might not. So the statement “once a cheater always a cheater”, might not stand true.

It is important to look at various aspects of a relationship before deciding if someone might cheat again. If you meet someone new and are looking to date, it is important to establish transparency about your history of infidelity and ask them about theirs. Then, the both of you can decide if you would like to take things forward.

Is there going back from cheating?

A staggering 70% of couples stay together after one partner engages in infidelity. There is nothing to say that a relationship has to end if a partner cheats. It is not easy for relationships to recover after infidelity and mending things can be a long, rocky road- but it is possible.

It takes time and effort for relationships to recover from an affair. Couples who do mend things are often said to strengthen their bond and come out stronger. Recovery can only happen if the partner that cheated expresses guilt and takes action to mend things. It is extremely important for the cheating to end, for the partner betrayed to not see the person with who their partner had an affair, and trust has to be rebuilt.

The cheating partner must be extremely honest and transparent when this happens, even if it means hurting their partner more at the moment. Keeping things can only complicate things more because they will come up in the future and it will be like untied, loose ends of a traumatic experience.

While issues in relationships are not an excuse to cheat, working on aspects like communication, quality time together, sexual bonding, and more can help reassure that cheating will likely not happen again.

Sometimes, cheating isn’t about the other, loyal partner but it is about how much the cheating partner feels incomplete in themselves. Coming from a place of lack of self-love, needing validation, and not being honest with themselves about where they need to grow can cause them to stray from a relationship.

Cheating partners need to explore why they did something in the first place and what were the underlying causes that come from them, not their current relationship. Only then couples can embark on the journey to recovery.

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