The Guide to Surviving Divorce
Divorce uproots your life and makes you start your life all over again. Before you think of getting back into the dating game, you must give yourself time and space to heal and rediscover a part of yourself that you had hidden away after you got married.
When a marriage breaks down, for whatever reason, it is like losing an essential part of your life and identity. It is so vital to remember that you can reclaim this part of your life and redefine yourself and survive a divorce and perhaps, come out stronger than you have ever felt in your entire life.
Here are some tried and tested tips that help you get started on the journey of self-love and healing after a divorce.
- Allow yourself to Grieve:
It is common to experience many ups and downs, as well as many conflicting emotions such as frustration, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and uncertainty. It is important to recognise and accept these feelings. Although these feelings are always intense, suppressing or ignoring them can only prolong the grieving process. Even if it is painful for you to speak about your feelings with others, you must it while you are mourning the loss of your marriage. Knowing that others are conscious of your emotions will make you feel less alone in your suffering and will help you in your healing journey.
- Out of Sight, Out of Mind:
Personal space is really important, as it will help you in grieving or moving on in the process of divorce. Gather all the stuff that your ex left at your place; photos, clothes, even shared stuff on your computer. Put everything in a box and be ready to send them to your former partner. If you're still on good terms with your ex-husband or ex-wife, getting rid of his or her belongings is easy. These also include precious gifts (even the handmade ones!) that you find yourself attached to. Getting rid of any of your ex-partner’s memorabilia gets you rid of part of the emotional attachment to your ex-partner.
- Spend Quality Time with Your Support System:
You may get frustrated with adapting to new daily matters now that you are on your own, but don't lose sight of the bigger picture. You can have a lot more to handle, but allow yourself to play with your children and relax. You can discover that you have different people who play different positions, such as one to whom you go when you need to have a good ‘you can get through this' talk where you can vent about everything.
- Organise Your Finances:
Getting a divorce will result in financial costs and adjustments. You could face some short-term financial expenses, ranging from attorney's fees to the tax implications of selling properties, that could put a strain on your budget. Many people believe that handling money after divorce entails spending less because you will only have your income to benefit from, and you might be required to pay child support. Whatever your financial position was during your marriage, you must now face your fears and handle your accounts. You can even seek help from a financial advisor to help you get started.
- Get Professional Help:
Seeking the help of a divorce therapist will help you work through the ramifications of your breakup and can be very beneficial in exploring yourself, your view of relationships, and your newfound independence in the world, as well as how to keep on track for a happier future. A divorce therapist will sit you down to discuss the divorce, but they will also discuss your thoughts and feelings, as well as your intentions after the divorce is finalised.
After a divorce, most people need a new purpose to live on in life; you need to start living for yourself. Keep in mind to take it one day at a time. You could go for a walk or take 10 minutes to drink a cup of coffee while it's still hot. Maybe you go to the movies or buy yourself a new book you've been meaning to read. Perhaps you'll enrol for the gym or take a yoga class. You might even head out to catch up with old friends. Do at least one thing every day that makes you happy and shows you that it's okay to smile and be happy, and you'll get through it.
